Black Crimson Dynamite

AND SO IT WAS THE LOLI GIRL FORM OF MAGUS DRAKEN LEE SET OFF TO MURDER ALL THE PANDA BEARS OF EARTH UPON LEARNING OF THE CUTE FUZZY THINGS OF WHICH THE HE-SHE-IT HATED AND AS SHE BLASTED AROUND THE EARTH WITH ROCKET BOOTS SPEWING OUT THAT WHICH SHE HATED IN THE FORM OF RAINBOWS AND A HUGE STACK OF KFC CHICKEN NUGGETS ACTING AS FUEL WITHIN HER ROBO-STOMACH-PROCESSOR MADE BY INTEL THE GIRL WAS CHASED BY F-22 USELESS CRACKHEAD JETS ROBBED FROM THE XCOM BASE OF OPERATIONS AND SET ABOUT UNTIL THEY VIOLATED U.S. AIRSPACE AND CRASHED INTO A FIELD, IT WAS THEN THAT IT CONTINUED TO CRASH INTO A SCHOOL WITH KITTENS THAT ALL RAN OUT BURNING, SPEAKING ENGLISH, GOING, "Oh God why, WHY, THE HUMANITY, WE HAD JUST LEARNED TO TALK, TO LEARN, TO THINK, TO *LOVE*, AND NOW WE'LL NEVER GET OUR OWN VISUAL NOVEL LIKE THOSE GOD DAMNED PIGEONS, FUCKING FUCK, I NEED TO GO HOME AND TAKE MY ANGER OUT ON SOMETHING *ONCE HOME THE CAT PROCEEDS TO SCRATCH THE SHIT OUT OF HIS STRACTHING POST* *THE SCRATCHING POST RESPONDS* "WHY, WHY, WHAT DID I DO WRONG? WAS IT BECAUSE I BURNED THE TUNA!?" "SHUT UP WHORE, THIS IS AN EDGY FAMILY GUY REFERENCE, AND YOU CAN'T TALK ANYWAYS", WELL REGARDLESS, A BLACK GUY AND A DEPRESSED CLOWN WERE TRECKING THROUGH NEW YORK CITY, WHICH WAS NOW JUST ACTUALLY A GIANT ZOO, AND ONLY FOR PANDAS. WELL THEY WERE TALKING AND YELLING IN CAPS LOCK, ALMOST AS IF IT'D BE A MASSIVE WALL OF TEXT IF IT WERE ONLINE. "HONKY BRO, DON'T BE SAD NO MORE HOME-DAWG NIGGA, LOOK, PANDAS, AREN'T THEY CUTE AND CUDDLY? CHIN UP, AND ONCE YOU DO, WE'RE CLAIMING THIS FOR SANCHEZ, CHARVEZ, LASVEZ, LOSVEZ, JULIANO, BRULIANO, ARE THESE NAMES GETTING ITALIAN?, YES THAT'S ACTUALLY HIS NAME, (YES THOSE ARE THEIR NAMES IN ORDER, BUT THIS IN THE PARENTHESIS IS JUST FOR CLARIFICATION), AND INSERT-GENERIC-RACIST-LATINO-NAME-HERE, WHATEVER MAN. Upon hearing this, Honky's memories had been spiked. Soft. Furry. Loving and caring and warm. Just like his last wife, THE DREADED LOLI WHO BLEW HIM UP BECAUSE HE SAID HE THOUGHT OF HER LIKE THAT WHEN SHE HATED IT, THE MEMORIES OF THE MISSLES LAUNCHED WREAKED IN HIS BRAIN, AND IT WAS ALMOST AS IF HE COULD HEAR THEM AGAIN, UPON WHICH, HE BEGAN TO CRY. AND WET HIMSELF. IN FACT, NO, THE LOLI WAS LANDING AND BLOWING THE WHOLE SITE UP. OH GOD, OH GOD, OH MERCIFUL DREADED GOD, WHAT DID HONKY AND NIGZ EVER DO TO DESERVE SUCH TORMENT, YET HOW BLESSED ARE THEY FOR SUCH ADVENTURES. *curtains roll and the crowd boos and throws banana peels on stage, with one landing short, resulting in a man slipping, and the nagging wife suing the theatre for damages despite JackassNo.2 in the back being responsible*